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It's not like you're my man or anything. I should just let her deal with you. Just put your ratty old clothes back on, and let's go." I was confused. On one hand, I wanted to assert myself. Everything about the day had felt like a total rejection of who I was, and I was just supposed to take it and be happy about it, because she thought she was doing me a favour? On the other hand, I felt guilty. Tears were welling in Mel's eyes. I knew she was only trying to help out of the goodness of her heart, and I'd just shit all over that. I felt like an ungrateful prick. As it usually does with me, the guilt won out over the self-righteousness. "Look, I'm sorry," I said. "I can try on some more clothes. Maybe there's something here that feels more like me..." "Forget it," she shot back. "I'm done. Let's just go." I changed back into my regular clothes, and we left the mall. "Thanks for everything today," I tried as we drove home. No response. Mel just stared out the passenger window. . Thursday (today I thought getting excited) I scanned down the page to see Sister Angelina, I looked up at her beaming and she too seemed happy.Sister Angelina had just one more thing to discuss with me. To make this work properly we need to have you ‘fixed’ so there will be no more ‘accidents’ she explained. I thought about it during the next couple of hours before dinner time and would give her my answer later on. I thought long and hard about all that had happened recently. I loved my family at the convent and would never intentionally harm them. But I did not want to take away permanently my chance of fathering again. So I began to devise a little deception of my own. I let Angelina know I would go along with their plan and she booked an appointment with the doctor for our trip the following week. Sister Angelina dropped me at the doctor early as she had some things to do while I was at my appointment. When the nurse came to prepare me for the doctor I made up a terrific story.
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